Communication Therapy for Couples in Los Gatos, California
You say one thing. They hear another. Somehow the same five topics turn into the same fight, over and over, and neither of you feels understood by the end of it.
Communication problems are rarely about vocabulary. They're about two nervous systems trying to feel safe at the same time, often in ways that work against each other.
Signs communication therapy could help you in Los Gatos
You have the same argument on repeat, just with different words
One of you shuts down while the other wants to keep talking
You feel unheard, even when you know your partner is listening
Small comments turn into bigger fights faster than either of you expects
You've started avoiding certain topics because they always end badly
You know what you want to say, but it comes out wrong in the moment
What if you could go from:
Talking past each other instead of to each other
→ Actually hearing what your partner means, not just what they said
Shutting down or escalating when things get hard
→ Staying present with each other, even in disagreement
Walking away from conversations feeling worse
→ Walking away from conversations feeling closer, even after conflict
Avoiding topics because they always go badly
→ Being able to bring up anything without dreading it
How communication therapy in California can help
Most couples don't need more communication tips. They need to understand the pattern underneath the miscommunication, usually one partner moves toward conflict to get resolution, while the other moves away from it to feel safe, and the more one pushes, the more the other retreats.
Once you can see that pattern clearly, in real time, you can start interrupting it together instead of getting swept into it every single time.
The Gottman Institute's research has identified specific communication patterns, like criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling, that predict relationship breakdown, and just as importantly, the repair skills that predict relationships thriving long-term.
Real understanding, not just talking — learn to hear what your partner actually means, not just react to what they said
A way to interrupt the cycle — recognize your pattern before it takes over the conversation
Conflict that doesn't damage — learn to disagree without it turning into character attacks
What you'll gain from communication therapy
Repair skills — know how to come back together after a hard conversation instead of letting it linger
Confidence bringing things up — stop avoiding topics because you're afraid of how they'll go
Feeling like a team again — move through disagreements together instead of against each other
What working together is really like
Step 1. We identify your specific communication pattern, who pursues, who withdraws, what triggers each of you, so you can name it as "our pattern" instead of blaming each other.
Step 2. We trace the pattern back to what you each learned about communication and conflict growing up, so your reactions start to make more sense.
Step 3. We practice new ways of communicating in session together, so you build real experience, not just theory.
My approach to communication therapy
I work from an EFT-informed and attachment-informed lens, which means we look at what's underneath your communication breakdowns, usually a need to feel safe, seen, or important, not just the words themselves.
Most communication advice focuses on scripts and techniques. We go a layer deeper: understanding your specific pattern, where it came from, and how to build something different together.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Scripts help temporarily, but they don't address why the pattern keeps happening. This work goes underneath the words to what each of you actually needs.
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That's common, and part of the work. Often the "better communicator" is still missing something important underneath their partner's silence or reactivity.
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Many couples notice small shifts, catching the pattern sooner, recovering from arguments faster, within the first few sessions.
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Couples sessions are $250 for 50 minutes. I'm a private-pay provider, meaning no diagnosis required and no insurance limits on your care. I provide a superbill for potential reimbursement.
Start communication therapy in Los Gatos today
If you're tired of the same fight and ready to actually understand each other, I'd love to connect. I offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can talk before you commit to anything.
Telehealth throughout California. Serving Los Gatos, Saratoga, Atherton, Menlo Park, Tiburon, Danville, Orinda, and the greater Bay Area.